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Jul 13, 2008

"he's out of reach", she says

she likes him. he's the strangest thing that ever happen to her. and she appreciates him for being himself. he unintentionally makes her smile and laugh. little that he knows that she hasn't been smiling like that for years.
he is like a medicine to her. she has to take a dose of him everyday, just to keep her sane. he doesn't know that he heals her wounded soul somehow someway.

she likes him. she thinks he is extraordinary.
she likes him. she thinks he can make her a better person.
she likes him. she smiles and sings lalala every other day.

but when she's ready to fall and believe, she realizes that all that he has ever given to her is false hope. over and over again. his kindness is false. his touch is false. her existence for him is false.
"he has another girl in his mind", she says.
"i knew it from the very beginning, yet i still tried to hurt myself", she said.
and she breaks down, a sudden heartache. she's suffocating, she's drowning in pain.

then one morning, out of the blue, a dear friend text her, "don't you know that there is someone who really love you out there?" she looks at the blue sky and wonder if that is true. since all that's left of her soul is pieces. scattered and numb.

"he's out of reach", she says. there is no hope left for her.
he is constantly on her mind and her dreams. even when she doesn't think of him.

she turns to me and asks, "what should i do? what could i do? how do i become the perfect fool?"
i fell silent. i turn to her and say, "let him go, let him go."

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